you will not complete me.

Hey there. Where did October go? It vanished. *poof* October went by really fast, and it seems that everything else in life is doing just the same. My assignments are slowly but surely piling up as they always do at this time of year, and with a forum post due at 9:25am tomorrow morning, what better time to write a blog post?

I've been doing a bit of thinking these past few days (no, really!?). Here is a quote to get you grounded on what I want to reflect on:

"I realized there was a subconscious longing in my heart that could never be resolved by another human being...I'm talking about something deeper than resolving longing for intimate companionship. Some people think of it as the longing for God, and I think they're on to something. In my opinion, though, that longing will never be satisfied in our lifetime. In other words, I'm convinced every person has a longing that will never be fulfilled and it's our job to let it live and breathe and suffer within it as a way of developing our character. I read in the Bible about how there will be a wedding in heaven and how, someday, we will be reunited with God. The Bible paints a beautiful picture of a lion lying down with a lamb, of all our tears being wiped away, of a mediator creating peace and King ruling with wisdom and kindness. The language is scattered and often vague, but there's no question something in the souls of men will be healed and perhaps even made complete once we are united with God and not a second before. What differentiates true Christianity from the pulp many people buy into is that Jesus never offers that completion here on earth. He only asks us to trust him and follow him to the metaphorical wedding we will experience in heaven." 

Um, what?! That's a whole of everything and it sort of makes a little bit of sense, but maybe not. In essence, I believe, that whether we are followers of Christ or not, we have meaning to life and a purpose. My life is not by accident, and we all have this innate and human sense that there is something to long for. Call it whatever you want, but as a follower of Christ, I have a constant feeling in my heart and mind that there is something more (whether that is some crazy guy in the sky or something like eternity). That I'm not just here alone and that what happens in my life is not completely by chance. This idea of longing is awesome in that like the quote says, God promises us this grand marriage with His kingdom.

With that being said, I have had it in my head for some time now that it is my responsibility to have this longing filled by someone or something. I've come to realize that it probably shouldn't be that way. There isn't anything that can fill that longing except Jesus. No man, no words, no material items, nothing. God can't even give it to me on earth. However, I can be someone who understands that and vies not to be in this longing alone.

With being in longing together, I think comes a sense of grasping people close but also holding them loosely. I am not responsible for someone else's soul, and that's been a tough cookie to eat over the past year. I have people in my life that I wish I could simply say something and they will be automatically swayed to follow me or believe that Christianity is for them. Numerous people. It breaks my heart to know that I can't change someone else's soul. I can't reach in and shake their heart. Only God can do that. However, despite it being heart breaking to know that I can't fix someone else's longing and heart, I can trust that God can. He already took that burden for me. All God allows us to do in relationships and in life in general and connections with other people, is to care for them and to pray for them and to let God do the healing and restoration. That's a hard thing to swallow.

Short and sweet for tonight, but just some final reflections from the end of "Scary Close". God calls us to be ourselves in light of what is going on around us. We struggle with trying to shake our masks and want to influence others so deeply that we can't seem to let go of the idea that we simply cannot change others, only by grace and His works alone - God has the grand master task of doing that.

katie.