last night thoughts.
To be honest, I am a bit scared and nervous. I have to qualify as one of the world's biggest worriers. Tonight, I sit on my bed in an empty room. A room that has been emptied of everything except a bed and a chair - I am moving into my own place tomorrow. I have to be truthful when I say I've had this nagging feeling for a long time that is just a plain old big bundle of fear. Fears that encompass the future and everything that goes along with that - a new place, roommates, relationships, my family, school, and of course my faith.
In recollection, this summer has been one of immense learning. Learning not to cave in to those fears and to live with them - but also to be BIGGER and BOLDER than them. We all have fears and that is simply part of life and how we live. I learned how to love my family again, how to work with people who are difficult to work with and how to simply surrender everything I have to God. Someone said it perfectly when they stated: "having fear is okay, but submitting to fear is exactly what the enemy wants. faith is having that fear but choosing to pursue God and His love instead."
My goal this summer is to return to the old Katie. I don't want to reinvent myself, nor to become a different person. I changed a lot during the past year and I am praying that God would give me the opportunities to dissolve back into my old self - someone who didn't care what others thought and trusted God with every step that I took. It has been such a process (and progress) already.
In short, I am amped for this year and what is to come. Growing deeper in my friendships with my family and friends, growing more in love and more in understanding and encouragement with my boyfriend and of course growing farther in my faith with the Lord, and putting Him first in every situation. Hold me to this in four months, but school is my focus and athletics are for fun.
Your prayers are greatly appreciated. If you could, please pray for guidance in my relationships as well as a brave heart in the different leadership positions that I have been granted. I KNOW God is going to do great things this semester and year. As my dad put it at dinner this evening, "we often put a cap on and limit the work that God is able to do". He is such a mighty and loving Father.
I leave you with Proverbs 3:5-6.